Top 10k strings from Fish 2 - The Supplement - Issue 01 (1993)(Fish Tapezine)(128k).z80 in <root> / bin / z80 / software / Sinclair Spectrum Collection TOSEC.exe / Sinclair ZX Spectrum - Magazines / Sinclair ZX Spectrum - Magazines - [Z80] (TOSEC-v2007-01-01) /
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12 "BLATANTLY UNTRUE HOROSCOPES",
11 "HOW MAD ARE YOU!?",
6 "SOAPS-THE COMING MONTHS",
5 "THE MAKING OF ""FISH""",
2 +" 7 a)New Mills "+
1 ~BbB@BBbB@
1 |@B::@<||<|
1 x$="Cheerio":
1 ve recording. This is because it was wrapped in Semtex, in an obvious attempt to do away with the lot of us once and for all. It appears, however, to be a telephone call between Emlyn ""Strange"" Morris and Mat ""Slightly Less So"" Beal."
1 ust how insane you are with our patent ""Bonkers-O-Meter""! Simply answer the questions on the following pages honestly and see how you fared. It's just like psychotherapy in your own home (only less expensive)!"
1 print data
1 page=page-1
1 page=page+1
1 page2=(page2*10
1 page2 =page
1 page driver
1 onnnngggg words take ages to come up. But anyway. Next - The Making Of FISH. (I'm weeing myself with anticipation)."
1 ohh dear."
1 fish! tapezine
1 PRINT AT 19,0; INK 5;"Driver was writen by and is
1 BB@B<@Bb~<
1 B<\<><<\<>
1 B<@<|<<@<|
1 A Word From Mat
1 ;'"Text/other stuff by:";
1 ;'"Mat (and others)"
1 ;'"FISH 2";
1 ;'"Chris Thomson"'"St Paul's House, Bretch Hill,"'"Branbury, Oxon OX16 0LR"
1 ;'"Charecter Set by:";
1 ;'"Alchemist PD (erk)"
1 ;'"3 Station Rd, Birch Vale,"'"Stockport, Cheshire SK12 5BP"
1 ;"page ";page ,
1 ;"extra hiden buttons -"'"[S]Prints screen"'"[T]Prints text"
1 ;"[M]=menu CURSOR KEYS=turn page [G]=select page [I]=info
1 ;"Issue 1"
1 ;"Driver/Menu System by:";
1 ;"CURSOR KEYS AND ENTER TO SELECT."
1 ;"""FISH 2"" Issue 1"
1 ;" Quit:are you sure? (Y/N) ";
1 ;" Page number? ";
1 ;" PAGE:";PAGE;" ":
1 ;" ";page:
1 ;" ""FISH 2"" : The Supplement! "
1 ;" press any key to return"
1 ;" JANUARY 1994"
1 23638-0785":
1 23637+256*
1 +" d)This sort of quiet room with white spongey walls. Oh, what a giveaway! "
1 +" d)The spider plant on top of it. "
1 +" d)The KLF (yes, yes, I know) "
1 +" d)Mercury"
1 +" d)Like a cupboard only completely different, really. Boing. "
1 +" d)I'm sorry, what was the question...? "
1 +" d)Chocolate fudge ice-cream garnished with shelled walnuts and gherkins? "+
1 +" d)Being chased through a field of black lillies by a ten-foot lobster wearing a cardbord box?"
1 +" d)""EEEERR wibble wibble wibble BADOING! Dammit."" "
1 +" c)Tasty with HP Sauce. "+
1 +" c)Nanette Newman "+
1 +" c)Kingmaker "+
1 +" c)Just nicely unbalanced. "+
1 +" c)Chernobyl "+
1 +" c)Birch Vale "+
1 +" c)Anchovy pizza "+
1 +" c)""Q Milligan"" "+
1 +" c)""I don't know, my watch was struck by Doctor X's Spooky Ray this morning."" "+
1 +" b)On top of a pole somewhere in the Scottish highlands "+
1 +" b)No. "+
1 +" b)Michelle Pfeiffer "+
1 +" b)Florida "+
1 +" b)Erm, sort of white and runny with a funny bit in the middle which goes odd when you poke it. "+
1 +" b)Chicken McSandwhiches "+
1 +" b)2 Unlimited "+
1 +" b)""Ten to nine."" "+
1 +" b)""Bobby Davro's Rock With Laughter"" "+
1 +" ^-o Some git just stapled an arrow to my head Smiley "+
1 +" This, written back in April '93 (not that new then) is The Knights' first demo. It's a three parter, but I couldn't fathom out how to get Part 1 to load at all. Tsk, eh? Part 2 features an atrribute scrolly (like in ""Pokerama"") over a backdrop (like in Part 2 of ""Lyra 2""), a 1-bit scrolly and a splitting scrolling logo thing (like in Part 2 of ""Unlimited Spirits"")."
1 +" M.You shut up or I'll beat you to death! "+
1 +" M.You just have to bring parrots into everything, don't you? Tsk. One track mind! "+
1 +" M.What was THAT? "+
1 +" M.Oh? That's alright, then. "+
1 +" M.I never said that! Oooh, you twist my words. Twist my words, y'do. "
1 +" M.I mean, it only seems like yesterday we were, um, watching ""Clive James Looks At 1992""... "+
1 +" M.Don't be stupid, we're having a telephone conversation, you div. "+
1 +" M.B'bye then. Nice talking to you. "+
1 +" M.""Murder""?! "+
1 +" I think this is new - Thomas ""Ebi"" Eberle mentioned it in the mag a few months back - but you'd never know to look at it. 7 individually loading parts (why?), dull graphics and effects, OK but nothing to write home about music, hardly any scrollies and extremely tedious. Just say no. "+
1 +" EMLYN.What do you mean, oh esteemed aquaintance, friend, neighbour and colleague? "+
1 +" E.The parrot is dead. "+
1 +" E.THAT? Oh, THAT was just my kitchen exploding. "+
1 +" E.Oh, yes? You and whose cougette? "+
1 +" E.Oh yeah. Forgot. "
1 +" E.No! No! Not the cougette! Aaaaarrghh! Murder! Murder! Ack. "+
1 +" E.I'm...dying... "+
1 +" E.I only wish I could say the same. See you."
1 +" E.Ah, so you watch Clive James, do you? "+
1 +" E.Ah well, must be off. The sprouts are calling. "+
1 +" Disappearing Smiley "+
1 +" CONSIDER - Are you pregnant?"
1 +" CHRIS REA:""Rich Arse"". "+
1 +" And now, some reviews of PD demos. Ho hum."
1 +" AXL ROSE:(That's enough anagrams. Ed) "+
1 +" 9:a-10;b-0;c-3;d-5."
1 +" 9.Raquel ""Je Suis Une Supermodel"" "+
1 +" 9.Give it to your brother as a birthday present."
1 +" 8:a-1;b-4;c-2;d-5. "+
1 +" 89.Oh no, I'm running out of things again. "+
1 +" 88.Balance it on your (NO! Ed) "+
1 +" 87.Balance it on your finger. "+
1 +" 86.Balance it on your toe. "+
1 +" 85.Balance it on your nose. "+
1 +" 84.Sell it to your school's Biology department. "+
1 +" 83.Get somebody to adopt a bit of it for lots of money. "+
1 +" 80.Spike someone's drink with it."
1 +" 8.Red Dwarf ""Let's Get Out There And Twat It!"" "+
1 +" 8.Give it to your sister as a birthday present. "+
1 +" 7:a-1;b-2;c-4;d-5. "+
1 +" 79.Smoke it. "+
1 +" 78.Government health warning - carrying out no.s 69-77 can seriously damage your health in a spooky fashion. "+
1 +" 77.Eat it raw with Newman's Own salad dressing. "+
1 +" 76.Eat it raw. "+
1 +" 75.Broil it. "+
1 +" 74.Fry it. "+
1 +" 73.Grill it. "+
1 +" 72.Barbeque it. "+
1 +" 71.Boil it. "+
1 +" 70.Roast it. "+
1 +" 7.Play ""Ignore The Slug"". "+
1 +" 7.Black Cat Communications (y'know, the vaguely druggy looking one) "+
1 +" 7 is doing well on the MD chart. Do you know where my paste is, sir?"" But we do not know "+
1 +" 7 a)Yes. "+
1 +" 7 a)Take That "+
1 +" 7 a)Nothing "+
1 +" 7 a)Bangers and mash "+
1 +" 7 a)A flat circle of white albumen with a centre of yolk which has been laid by a bird, removed from its shell and fried over a heat source. "+
1 +" 7 a)""Red Dwarf"" "+
1 +" 7 a)""Half past three."" "+
1 +" 7 Oh, shut up."
1 +" 7 Most of Youngie's material is produced in a corner of German lessons, usually on Friday afternoons when he can't be tossed doing anything else. His labourings (usually on file paper on the pretence of doing his Graded Test stuff) has brought us many a crap cartoon strip, and the supremely uselss Amiga Bit. Actually, there were a couple of good cartoons..."
1 +" 7 It is down to Chris to do anything that everybody else is too thick, or can't be tossed, to do. This includes programmy things, this text driver and t'screenshots, m'lady."
1 +" 7 It is Martyn's ""job"" to fit as many plugs for Prism PD into ""FISH"" as possible. Oh yes, and he does PD demo reviews and stuff an' all, so well done that man (or something)."
1 +" 7 It is Chris' job to write articles which are actually quite funny and informative, so he's obviously grabbed the wrong end of the metaphorical ""FISH"" stick."
1 +" 7 Emlyn needs at least a fortnight's psyching up before doing any work at all. At least, that's his excuse. At the end of this fortnight, I am usually presented with some Biro'd scribblings which fill up about three lines when typeset unto the PCW. Hardly surprising, then, that his is the least popular section in the entire thing."
1 +" 7 Eek! Where did you come from?"
1 +" 7 45-50:Woo! You are completely and utterly insane. Probably. "+
1 +" 7 ""Oh no, not another bloody toaster."""
1 +" 7 ""Num-chum-chum,"" he says. ""I see "+
1 +" 6:a-4;b-4;c-2;d-5. "+
1 +" 68.Put it in a pre-paid envelope you get with those junk mail offers you get and send it off. "
1 +" 67.Give it away for free. "+
1 +" 66.Auction it. "+
1 +" 65.Try to sell it for `10. "+
1 +" 64.Sell it for `5. "+
1 +" 63.Sell it for `2.50. "+
1 +" 62.Sell it for `1. "+
1 +" 61.(Oh no. Ed) "+
1 +" 6.The Wonder Stuff ""Idiot"" "+
1 +" 6.Play ""Throw The Slug"". "+
1 +" 6 Er, the ""How Mad Are YOU!?"" Quiz. "+
1 +" 6 9.Are you mad? "+
1 +" 6 8.Where DO you live? "+
1 +" 6 7.How would you describe a fried egg? "+
1 +" 6 6.Who are your favourite popular music group? "+
1 +" 6 5.What is the funniest thing on TV? "+
1 +" 6 4.A man comes up to you in the street and says, ""Excuse me, what time is it please?"" What is your reply? "+
1 +" 6 3.What is your favourite food? "+
1 +" 6 2.Where would you most like to live? "+
1 +" 6 1.What are you most likely to dream about? "+
1 +" 6 Part 207:The Gift From The Holy Ghost. "+
1 +" 5:a-2;b-7;c-5;d-6. "+
1 +" 59.There, that should make things easier."
1 +" 5.Why the Conservative government are so crap. "
1 +" 5.Star Trek ""Deep Space 9"" "+
1 +" 5.Play ""Kick The Slug"". "+
1 +" 5.How to get a job."
1 +" 5.Er, that's it."
1 +" 5 Martyn Sheerwood "+
1 +" 5 Emlyn ""Morrisey (not really)"" Morris "+
1 +" 5 David ""Youngie"" Young "+
1 +" 5 Chris Thomson "+
1 +" 5 Chris Bailey "+
1 +" 5 Accept no inferior substitutes! "+
1 +" 5 ...But they teach you anyway. "+
1 +" 5 (Actually it wasn't in ""Alch News"", and if Andy is reading we ought to apologise. Chris) "+
1 +" 5 Well, this business of typing THE ENTIRE THING IN YET AGAIN isn't turning out to be so bad after all. What's next? "+
1 +" 4:a-0;b-1;c-3;d-4. "+
1 +" 48.Oh dear, I'm running out of things now. "+
1 +" 47.Paint a portrait of it. "+
1 +" 46.Stick it in an alternative brand of padded envelope. "+
1 +" 45.Stick it in a Jiffy bag for the fun of it. "+
1 +" 44.Stick it in a Jiffy bag and send it to the Minister for Education. "+
1 +" 42.Stick it in a Jiffy bag and send it to the Prime Minister."
1 +" 41.Take it bungee-jumping. "+
1 +" 40.Take it paint-balling. "+
1 +" 4.Zig & Zag ""In Yer Face"" "+
1 +" 4.Why stuff from HMV costs something and one more pee than in other shops (?). "+
1 +" 4.Sexual slang terms. "+
1 +" 4.Play ""Catch The Slug"". "+
1 +" 4.""Number 73"" "+
1 +" 4 where his paste is."
1 +" 4 muffin. "+
1 +" 4 Mortal Kombat "+
1 +" 3:a-1;b-1;c-2;d-4. "+
1 +" 39.Take it bowling. "+
1 +" 38.Take it to the cinema. "+
1 +" 37.Make that half-whistley noise with our teeth at it. "+
1 +" 36.Whistle to it. "+
1 +" 35.Hum to it. "+
1 +" 34.Play to it. "+
1 +" 32.Give it to Emlyn Morris cos he loves slugs and he'll snog it all night long."
1 +" 31.(Oi! I warned you about this. Ed) "+
1 +" 30.Give it to your sister as a Chinese new year present. "+
1 +" 30-44:And you're pretty mad an' all. Hurrah! "+
1 +" 3.Stereolab lyrics. "+
1 +" 3.Martin Luther's personal problems. "+
1 +" 3.Jurrasic Park (oh no) "+
1 +" 3.Get a German to stamp on it and watch its guts go flying out. "+
1 +" 3.""Drop The Dead Donkey"" "+
1 +" 2:a-2;b-2;c-4;d-4. "+
1 +" 29.Take it to Bogna. "+
1 +" 28.Take it to New Zealand. "+
1 +" 27.Take it to Barbados. "+
1 +" 26.That might not work, though. "+
1 +" 25.Feed your hamster to it. "+
1 +" 23.Put it in a cupboard and remember it days later."
1 +" 22.Put it in a cupboard and forget about it. "+
1 +" 21.Put it in a cupboard and sell it as ""slug-a-la-cupboard"". "+
1 +" 20.Put it in a bap and sell it as a ""slug burger"". "+
1 +" 20-29:A bit quirky. Nicely odd. Going wibbly. "+
1 +" 2.Stamp on it and watch its guts go flying out. "+
1 +" 2.Reg Holdsworth ""Knowledge Is Power"" (hurrah) "+
1 +" 2.Machine code programming. "+
1 +" 2.How people take illegal drugs. "+
1 +" 2.""Duckula"" "+
1 +" 2 Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22) "+
1 +" 2 The Archers "+
1 +" 2 Taurus (Apr 21-May 20) "+
1 +" 2 THE SCORES... "+
1 +" 2 THE BONKERS-O-METER... "+
1 +" 2 Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21) "+
1 +" 2 Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 20) "+
1 +" 2 Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20) "+
1 +" 2 Part Two:The Miracle Of Technology "+
1 +" 2 Part Three:Ship 'em out, send 'em off "+
1 +" 2 Part One:Bods "+
1 +" 2 Part Four:""So, you've photocopied the things, arranged for them to be sent off and breathed a sigh of relief. What happens next, pray tell?"" "+
1 +" 2 Neighbours "+
1 +" 2 Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22) "+
1 +" 2 Leo (Jul 23-Aug 22) "+
1 +" 2 Home And Away "+
1 +" 2 Gemini (May 21 (I think)-Jun 21) "+
1 +" 2 FISHOMETER:75%"
1 +" 2 FISHOMETER:45%"
1 +" 2 Coronation Street "+
1 +" 2 Capricorn (Dec 21-Jan 19) "+
1 +" 2 Cancer (Jun 22-Jul 22) "+
1 +" 2 Brookside "+
1 +" 2 Baywatch "+
1 +" 2 Aries (Mar 21-Apr 20) "+
1 +" 2 Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) "+
1 +" 1:a-0;b-1;c-2;d-3. "+
1 +" 19.Put it in a bread roll and sell it as a ""hot slug"". "+
1 +" 18.(That's enough presents. Ed) "+
1 +" 16.Sorry, that didn't have anything to do with slugs, did it?"
1 +" 15.Emlyn Morris is a smelly. "+
1 +" 14.Give it to your boy/girlfriend as a birthday present. "+
1 +" 13.Give it your best mate as a birthday present. "+
1 +" 12.Give it to either of your grandparents as a birthday present. "+
1 +" 11.Give it to your dad as a birthday present. "+
1 +" 101.Think of 101 things to do with it."
1 +" 100.Hur hur hur. "+
1 +" 10.Captain Black ""Black Is Back"""
1 +" 10-19:You're not really trying, are you? "+
1 +" 1.The history of Disney films. "+
1 +" 1 And now for something completely different "
1 +" 0-9:You've been cheating. Not mad in the slightest."
1 +" 0 Your star-sign is represented by the bull, which is rather accurate when you think about it. This month, don't lend anyone any money as they will run away with it forever and you'll never see them again. Boo hoo."
1 +" 0 Your lucky number is 999, your lucky colour is that nicoteny one which BBC computers go after a few years, and your lucky stone is that one that you nearly trip up on in the street (but, fortunately, don't)."
1 +" 0 This month a surprise is in store as you are willed a million pounds after your Great Uncle Harold (who has lived in Tibet for the last twenty years) explodes in a freak accident."
1 +" 0 The answer to that question prevailing on your mind at the moment is, ""a sort of bluey-mauve, really."" Use this information well, and don't forget...oh, I've forgotten."
1 +" 0 Summer Bay is flooded by a freak tidal wave. Half the cast drown (including Sally with any degree of luck), the rest go to Yabbee Creak and live on top of a skyscraper. The programme is renamed ""Away""."
1 +" 0 Obviously, a wide-ranged publication like ours cannot survive with one contributor alone. In this part, I'll go through each person and describe what he or she (although it will be a he, as we don't have any females working for us) actually DOES. I was going to fit one in on this page, but I seem to have filled up all of it with complete drivvel, so press CURSOR RIGHT..."
1 +" 0 Nobody round here watches ""Brookside"". Not even Gemma. So, er, it gets axed."
1 +" 0 My dad's got your star-sign, y'know. So how about giving me more money, eh? Eh?"
1 +" 0 Mind the dhalias, y'hear?"
1 +" 0 Jenny Bradley gets employed asa foghorn. Emily has a nervous breakdown and becomes convinced Percy Sugden is a novelty teapot. The dog in the opening titles knocks over that old woman. Derek and Mavis go for a dirty weekend in Bogna Regis. Sally and Kevin open an Italian restaraunt."
1 +" 0 Inevitabley, somebody else writes asking for a copy. Nnnnngg."
1 +" 0 Hannah gets voted ""Most Irritating Git Of The Year (Not Counting Todd Cos He's Dead)"". Julie explodes. Bouncer gets run over. Gabby has Toby Mangell's love-child in the Allesi's spa-thing. Henry and Bronwyn come back from New Zealand, only to find everyone they knew has moved or died. Somebody actually tells Cody her ex-boyfriend has snuffed it."
1 +" 0 Friends will ignore you this month. Don't take it personally, it's just you have this incredibley bad B.O."
1 +" 0 Don't eat artichokes this month or your house will blow up."
1 +" 0 Did you know you're not a Cancer at all? There was a mix-up at the hospital and you are, in fact, a Gemini so you stink as well. Pooh! Pooh!"
1 +" 0 Did you know that I don't actually know anyone with your star-sign? Erm...an did you also know that if you take the first two letters off it you get an article of clothing? S'true."
1 +" 0 By this time, I should have accumulated a nice little pile of SAEs and 25ps or, more likely, irregular ammounts of money, a few SAEs and a list of people who, for various reasons, haven't sent me an envelopes. Ho hum."
1 +" 0 Believe it or not, ""FISH"" is produced entirely on a clapped-out PCW, with a crap, slow and noisy 9-pin printer job. Oh, except Martyn's bit, which I believe is produced on a CPC. And Chris B's, cos he carves the mirror image of his articles into large potatoes, stamps them in paint and presses them onto paper."
1 +" 0 Be warned! If it is your birthday today, you're completely mad."
1 +" 0 And so we come to the end of our Horoscopes bit. I don't know what happens to you lot, and I don't care either. So yah boo sucks."
1 +" 0 A lot of people say ""oo-ar""."
1 +" 0 A bunch of Californians go around in bathing costumes. And a lot of cleavage and bum. Hurrah. Probably."
1 +" -) Smiley with no eyes "+
1 +" (That's enough Smileys. Ed)"
1 +" (Pause). "+
1 +" %-) Deformed Smiley's brother "+
1 +" !-) Asleep Smiley "+
1 ****MENU****
1 $@<B\:|\8<D<\$
1 "VISION OF ""THE MAD GUYS""","Excuse those silly titles, by the way. Just me being crap. Anyway. That's about it for this month. I might do part five next issue. Then again, maybe not. ""Alright, ta-ta""."
1 "TRANSMISSION (3)","Oh, God. Next, it seems, I've got to type in all of 101 Things To Do With A Slug. Could put in some gratuitous wibble, I s'pose. Nah, maybe not. If you'r offended by unfunny things to do with slugs, skip the next few pages."
1 "THOUGHT OF THE WEEK","Alan Sugar couldn't find his arse with both hands and a textbook of human anatomy."
1 "THE TOP 10 T-SHIRTS"," 1.The Flintstones "+
1 "THE MIDDLE OF THE LIST","Hello and welcome to The Middle Of The List (more or less). This is when we, the writers offer you, the readers, to find something funny. Anyway - back to the slugs and things."
1 "THE MAKINS OF ""PVC""","Er, and then there's the photocopying. Look, I was doing alright, OK? Then in Issue 2 Gareth ""left"" and I had to make my own arrangements. Nowadays I do it at the ""Reporter"" offices whenever I can, whenever nice, accomodating people are in and their bosses are out. Unfortunately, I keep running into secerateries and things who make us pay exob...exubo...ex...large ammounts for the pleasure."
1 "THE MAKING OF ""PASTA""",
1 "THE MAKING OF ""MONEY"" (HUH)",
1 "THE MAKING OF ""LOVE""","...And then there's the screenshots (both of them). I send Chris (Thomson) a game and a blank 3"" disk, he grabs a shot from the game with his Multiface, edits it using a Speccy art job, prints it out and scans it with Masterscan into his PCW. Then he sends the lot back to me, I do any last minute alterations and finally rescale it so nobody can tell what it is."
1 "THE MAKING OF ""FISH""","Recently ""rival"" fanzine, ""The Thing Monthly"", ran the feature ""The Making Of The Thing"". Never one to miss an opportunity of nicking somebody else's ideas in a blatantly rougish fashion, on the next few electronically simulated pages I shall go through the process that brings you ""FISH"". Maybe."
1 "THE FINAL WORD","That's all for the first ish. Next time! A ""Neighbours"" parody, some stuff from Chris, reviews and various other wibble. And the text driver should be a bit quicker too (hurrah). The next issue of ""FISH"" proper will be out March (25p and a SAE). Cheerio, and remember - maturity. It's not big and it's not clever. Mat"
1 "THE END OF THE LIST","Hello, and welcome to The End Of The List. Ha-ha! At last! I've finished it! Finished it! Completed it! Ceased to type it in! Typing is right out! Typing in is what I am not doing! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! And now for the meaning of life...damn, out of room."
1 "THE CHARTS","My word, Chart Cat has been busy this month, leaping gaily from chart to chart 'though he's a "+
1 "THE BUDDHA OF ""SUBURBIA""",
1 "THAT'S ALL, FOLKS","When Chris wrote this program, he obviously laboured under the delusion somebody could fill 800 pages with wibble. I can't. So go to the final page (p800) as there's nothing more to see..."
1 "TELEVISION","This month, soap operas. Just about everybody seems to watch soaps, even people who think they're utter crap, and despite the fact everyone knows what's going to happen about half a year in advance. FISH 2 have been investigating what will happen in a few soaps over the next few months, and have made the following discoveries..."
1 "SPOOK FACT!"," Did you know that when you're eating chocolate, the same thing is released into your brain as when you're having sex? "+
1 "SOUNDTRACKER","Recently ""4-poster"" fanzine, ""Alch News"" printed the English instructions to ""Soundtracker"". Never ones to miss an opportunity of nicking somebody else's hard work, Chris and I have decided to nick it. Unfortunately, we can't be tossed writing it out in full, so have sumarized the gist of it."
1 "SILLYGATE","FISH 2 has come accross a potentially explosi
1 "SILLYGATE (3)"," (Exploding sound). "+
1 "SILLYGATE (2)"," E.He's your girlfriend, he is. "+
1 "SILLYGATE (1)"," MAT.Why, doesn't time fly when you're not having much fun at all, really? "+
1 "REVIEWS","Next month in FISH 2's reviews bit - either some reviews of some more demos, or something else. Depends on how I'm a-feeling, really. See you then."
1 "RELIGION",
1 "OUR SMILEYS"," ;-( S hairdo Smiley "+
1 "OUR ANAGRAMS"," VIRGINIA BOTTOMLEY:""I am an evil Tory Biggot"" (nearly). "+
1 "MORE ""TRAIN SPOTTIN'""","Part 3 features some ripped music, some music-channel reading colour effects and a little scrolly, which makes way for a multicolour sine-wave affair (which Rick O'Neill wrote for ""YS"" yonks ago, spook fans) and a rendition of - oh no! - ""Axel F"". A word about the scrollies - as the bloke's English, they're more comprehensible than most and manage to be entertaining and lengthy. Hurrah! The last one wibbles on about (cont.)"
1 "MAT BEAL'S BIG NIGHT IN","Hello. God, I'm pissed off. ""Why is that?"" you may be asking. Well, I'd already typed in most of this thing. Then the 128k text editor decided to eat it. Fortunately, 90% of the text was already saved, so I thought I was alright, until I discovered that endearing Datacorder hadn't taped it properly. Alan Sugar, eh? He's a card and no mistake. But anyway."
1 "MAT BEAL'S BIG NIGHT IN (2)","This program, which was written by Chris Thomson, has been filled with wibble MOST OF WHICH HAS ALREADY BEEN TYPED IN AT LEAST ONCE. We hope you enjoy this supplementary experience. I didn't."
1 "KNIGHTS OF ""THE ROUND TABLE""",
1 "INTERMISSION",
1 "INTERMISSION (2)","Just a bit of pointless wibble there. Hmm. Almost like the good old days of ""YS2"", isn't it? A-ha, but the ""Sceptical"" driver prints one charecter at a time, whereas Chris' one (""TZINE"") prints the whole word. Although it does your head in after a while. And really llll
1 "HOW MAD ARE YOU!?","Yes! Now you, too, have the chance to find out j
1 "ERRATA","It should be observed that the last chart was a proper one from one of my sister's magazines (""Look In!"", ugh) and not based on personal prefferance. Especially cos that funky Wile E Coyote one Jonathan was wearing in the last ""YS"" wasn't included (I'm going to get one of them next time I'm in HMV). "+
1 "ERK...","This would indeed have been the case, had Chris not been preoccupied and subsequently neglected to send me the aforementioned material. Maybe next time, eh? "+
1 "ER, SORRY ABOUT THIS","war, and sexism, and religion and stuff, which is a refreshing change from greetings and technotwaddle, but a bit serious for a demo and he begins to sound like a politician after a bit. Still jolly readable though, and I agreed with what he had to say (especially Rasputin being crap). Yes, despite the ripped music/fonts, unoriginal effects, bugs (?) and ""borrowed"" routines, I liked T.S. A promising first attempt and no mistake. So, "+
1 "CHRIS THOMSON:AN APOLOGY","Er, sorry about that, Chris."
1 "CHRIS PISSES OFF MAT","Chris changed his copy of the program a bit (to make the driver faster and things) and sent it back to me. Unfortunately, the changes made the text go funny in places, so I went back to the old program. He also wrote some extra pages of text, but I can't remember what they were, so maybe next time, eh? (Again). If you want any of the programs in his column, send him 25p, a tape and a SAE and he'll copy 'em."
1 "AFTER THE WATERSHED","If there are any of you out there who haven't sampled the wonders of ""FISH"", Issue 4 is out now with news, reviews, info features and wibble. Send an SAE and 25p to 3 Station Rd, Birch Vale, Stockport, Cheshire, SK12 5BP."
1 "A Word From Mat","Horoscopes","Television","How Mad Are You!?","The Making Of FISH","Slugs","Reviews:PD Demos","Sillygate","The Charts","""Soundtracker""","The Final Word","Quit","Credits/Addresses"
1 "5 TV PROGS I WANT BACK"," 1.""Palace Hill"" "+
1 "5 THINGS THEY DON'T TEACH YOU IN SCHOOL"," 1.How to put the cap back on the shampoo bottle after you've used it in the shower (or is it just me?). "+
1 "5 THINGS NOT ON THE CURRICULUM"+
1 "101 THINGS TO DO WITH A SLUG (9)"," 82.Sell it to Chester zoo. "+
1 "101 THINGS TO DO WITH A SLUG (8)"," 69.Bake it. "+
1 "101 THINGS TO DO WITH A SLUG (7)"," 60.Give it to your sister as a Bloopy Day present. "+
1 "101 THINGS TO DO WITH A SLUG (6)"," 43.Stick it in a Jiffy bag and send it to an ex-Prime Minister. "+
1 "101 THINGS TO DO WITH A SLUG (5)"," 33.Sing to it. "+
1 "101 THINGS TO DO WITH A SLUG (4)"," 24.Feed it to your hamster. "+
1 "101 THINGS TO DO WITH A SLUG (1)"," 1.Stamp on it. "+
1 "101 THINGS TO DO WITH A SLUG (3)"," 17.Give it to your sister as a Christmas present. "+
1 "101 THINGS TO DO WITH A SLUG (2)"," 10.Give it to your mum as a birthday present. "+
1 """TRAIN SPOTTIN'"" REVIEW"," Gawain of The Knights "+
1 """AGONY"" REVIEW"," Jacek Michalak/Cat-man "+
1 of Mr Chris Thomson 1993 address in address's section!"
1 The Final Word
1 The Charts
1 Television
1 Reviews:PD Demos Sillygate
1 How Mad Are You!? The Making Of FISH Slugs
1 Horoscopes
1 Credits/Addresses Q
1 CDT/R.U.P. 1993"
1 CDT 1993"
1 "Soundtracker"